Scooby Dooby Doo, Where Are You?

Halong Bay

Halong Bay, Vietnam

Taxi to hotel

On the plane to Hanoi we did wonder whether or not the car we had attempted to book would be waiting for us to take us to Halong Bay. We had pre-booked a hotel in Halong Bay, and since it is a good three hours drive away we thought it would be a good idea to organise transportation to our hotel beforehand, as we only landed at 6 pm and didn't know, even after trying to research on the World Wide Web, how to get to the famous Halong Bay (where do buses leave from, how often, are there trains, where do you buy tickets, are they reliable...). Pressed for time, we decided to play it safe. So whilst still in Luang Prabang we called our hotel in Halong Bay to see if they could arrange a pick up from the airport. All I got in response was a series of numbers read to me which I presumed were a phone number I needed to call. The phone call that followed was both hilarious and frustrating. At first all was fine; here's a recap:
Me: hello please taxi from Hanoi airport to Halong Bay
Person on phone: yes please send hotel and flight details
Me: ok please give email

This is when it all goes wrong, and the next part of the call took a good 15 precious minutes.

Person on phone: V-I-N.....????
Me: sorry, can you repeat please?
Person on phone: V-E-M-....????
Me: sorry sorry, is it V-I-N or V-E-M, and then what?
Person on phone: V-I-N-?-T (or possibly R) - something- 1982@gmail.com
Me: I am really sorry but I don't understand, can you please repeat one more time? V for Vietnam, I for India, N for Nepal, and then what?

Person on phone: V-I-N-???- A-N-1982@gmail.com

At this point the only thing I am sure about is the V at the beginning and I realise I am never going to get the rest right, so I call Aurea for back up and put the phone on loudspeaker. The same scenario repeats itself until we think we got it - or rather, had two versions. One of them had to be right, right?

I put my email together and send it to the two addresses, only for both to bounce back, much to my dismay. After some swearing out loud I figured a had one last way to try to get the email address, and that was to text the number. After all, not knowing whether the number was a mobile or a landline, it had a 50-50 chance of working. Glass half full and all that.

When I got a reply from the number with the correct email address I have to admit I did a little celebratory dance! As it turns out, from the whole email address we only got about three letters right
Our final version: vineran1982@gmail.com
Correct spelling: behntran1982@gmail.com

Even the one we were so sure about, the first V (which we confirmed to be V for Vietnam, as in, the country you live in!) turned out to be a B!

This time I did get a response to my email (yay!) but not to the second one I sent asking about logistics - so there was only hoping it would all work out.

You can imagine the joy when, in the arrivals hall, a neatly dressed Vietnamese man was standing holding a sign with my name on it!

During the drive to the hotel there was a moment when we did stop and think "we just got into a stranger's car." At the end of the day, what did we know? We had called a random number, spoken to a person whose name we didn't know, had no idea if this was a company or a private person, or whether we are even going in the right direction. Our driver hadn't said a word since he picked us up, for all we know he could be a member of an organ harvest association and we could wake up with our kidneys missing!

So not only did I have to worry about having my organs go missing, but the driving was also a little disconcerting. Honking is used to signal anything:

- I'm changing lanes: honk

- get out of my way: honk

- I'm turning left: honk

- I'm turning right: honk
- I'm about to overtake you: honk
- I'm overtaking you: honk

- I have just overtaken you: honk

And when everyone does it at the same time it is quite the concert.

Three hours later we got to the hotel with our organs (fully) and our eardrums (somewhat) intact.

The Hidden Charm Hotel
From the get-go there was something off about the hotel. The Tuan Chau Island where our hotel was located is a 10 minute drive away from Halong City where all the boats leave to Halong Bay. The Island is relatively big with several high rise hotels (some of which are closed down) all scattered around the island with wild vegetation in between. Our hotel with the very hidden charm was right in the middle, surrounded by...well....nothing but overgrown out of control greenery. I got the feeling that it was once upon a time a popular tourist destination but nowadays didn't attract many travellers (most visits to Halong Bay are organised from Hanoi and a part of the experience is to sleep in the boat rather than hotel).

View from hotel

The staff were waiting for us with our room key in their hand - we didn't even need to give them our name. We were excited to be in a 'real' hotel as opposed to a guesthouse but this soon wore off and quickly wished we were back in Thailand or Laos. Our room was impressive - the views were stunning and the room was HUGE! But that is where the positives end.

Hungry as we were, we headed for dinner at the hotel restaurant on the top floor (going anywhere was not an option, and there wasn't anything anywhere in sight). It was only past 9 pm but the restaurant was empty, and during the time we sat having dinner we saw nobody - even the waiter vanished into thin air. There was no music, just the wind howling outside and it was starting to feel really spooky. Oh wait, I'm lying now, we did have company - Aurea spotted a big fat rat on the beams on the ceiling! Grossed and spooked out we returned back to the comfort of our room.

The food did not improve during our stay, it was instant noodles and questionable meat and vegetables all throughout, but with no other options around we had little choice. And yes, more rats joined us for dinner the next day, too, and still no signs of other guests. Ugh.

There's an episode of Scooby Doo where the gang spend a weekend at a haunted, rundown hotel after the bridge leading to the island collapses - and I could just see that happening to us! The surroundings were also just like from a Scooby Doo episode, as Halong Bay is nearly always wrapped in a grey mysterious mist, with the limestone cliffs dimly outlined in the distance. What made our stay at the hotel even weirder was that later we actually realised that we were the ONLY GUESTS IN THE HOTEL!

Halong Bay

Cave

We made it into Halong City and took a boat around Halong Bay, including a visit into one of the famous caves inside one of the cliffs and yes, it was all very impressive. In my personal opinion however, I do think it is overrated as there is literally nothing else to do around Halong Bay but to see the Bay. People were very unfriendly and quite frankly the buildings and the city were some of the ugliest I have seen in my life. To add to the negatives, for the first time during this trip we had difficulty in organising our day trip as people didn't seem to speak much English which I don't mind (when there's a will there's a way) but what is worse is their interest in helping us was close to non-existent. I do think that is a shame as due to the sheer amount of tourists who flock to the Bay I think it could be beneficial to clean up the place and there could be potential for attractive business opportunities.

With feeling creeped out, uncomfortable, hungry yet disgusted, and with nothing to do we decided to cut our stay in Halong Bay short and go to Hanoi a day early - the best decision we have made!

So long, Halong!

Ahoy, Hanoi!