FFFRRRIIIIIDDDAAAAYYYYYYYYYY: Phuket Afterthoughts

On the boat on our way back from our day at Raya Rai

My time in Phuket was every bit as good and enjoyable as all of the other places I've travelled to on my journey through Southeast Asia, the difference being that I quite strongly disliked the place itself. What made it so special was of course having the world's best mom there to visit me, and being able to spend quality time together with her, her lovely friend Merja, and my Pete.

Phuket is Thailand's biggest island and for that reason also very diverse and probably has a little something for everyone's taste; so I shouldn't be too judgmental and say its not a nice holiday destination. Except that its not a nice holiday destination. Or rather, I think there are a thousand and one other places to go to before choosing Phuket. Already two years ago when I came to Thailand on an epic and unforgettable holiday to visit my backpacking friend Anne I spent some time on Kata Beach, supposedly one of Phuket's best beaches. I wasn't too dazzled by it. Even then the impression I was left with is that Phuket caters for (to a great extent) the ignorant traveller, the one who seeks only sun, fun and convenience with no regard for the country itself nor its people nor culture. Those are the kind of people who give foreigners a bad reputation for being inconsiderate and disrespectful, and those are the type of tourists I found like to travel to destinations such as Phuket.

Tiger bar, where you could admire these classy
tigers whilst also admiring classy ladies and
ladyboys pole dancing on the tables.

Being in Patong Beach this time, that impression I had from last time was only reaffirmed. Phuket is built and perfected to please the tourist, with Patong Beach at the top of the list. You can get anything here. ANYTHING. So let's start with that. Sex. Probably holiday in paradise for the single man looking for a good time; who will be approached by tens of sexy exotic Thai at every bar, each more beautiful than the last - and as long as he is able to tell the women and the ladyboys apart (not an easy task and perhaps not even a necessary one provided he is not fussy) and as long as he knows its not for free....he can have a pretty good time, night after night.

Sex is on display everywhere, in the bars wrapped around the poles on the tables, walking and flirting down the streets, in the ping pong shows on every corner, and in many of the infamous massage parlours. In short, as a man you're not going to have a hard time getting any if that's what takes your fancy.

Phuket (and Patong) is catered to the tourist in many other ways too, which is probably why the beaches are so crowded they remind me of Costa del Sol in August. Good luck finding a free spot on the sand after about 8am. The beach is actually beautiful, the sand is white and the water is blue and clear. But for me it's off-putting to see that many people on the beach, I prefer the beaches in the Philippines where it was just me and myself. And Mr. Jenkins, of course. It's not like I even want to rent a jet ski or do other water sports, when the prices are THB 1,500 for 30 minutes, that's over £30....

It's not only the water sports that are pricy. EVERYTHING in Phuket is at least 30% and sometimes as much as 100% more expensive than on Koh Tao for example, which is also a touristy destination and therefore more expensive than the average in Thailand. Phuket made a big dent in my budget, that's for sure.

LONKERO!!

Now I'm not going to lie, I was over the top excited to get my hands on lots of things I hadn't had in months, like Spanish Jamon Serrano, some quality olives, Danish blue cheese, and some Wasa sourdough crispy bread - and best of all, an ice cold Lonkero in a Finnish bar - but the fact that I was able to find this just goes to show that the kind of thing tourists here seek are the same goods they'd consume at home which is why they're available. I didn't see one - not one - Thai food only restaurant. All of them do the pizzas and the hamburgers tourists crave. Supply and demand; ECON-101.

In terms of shopping, Patong is also the perfect place. Once more you can get anything and everything there, and even though it may be more expensive than in other destinations in Thailand, it's still cheaper than getting it in Europe. Fake Rolexes, handbags, wallets, clothing; real sparkly diamonds and tailor-made cashmere and silk suits. And anything in between. Every single shop in this town is dedicated to pleasing the tourist, and seeing how they (should probably say we) flock here month after month, year after year, I don't see this changing anytime soon.

Our entertainers singing at dinner to us by
the pool at Cape Sienna

Not everyone who travels to Phuket is rude, ignorant, or looking for sex of course. Many people like to travel here because the beaches are truly beautiful, there are many fun day trips available, and also a big reason is that it is easier to get by if you're not an experienced traveller or confident in English, as it's very easy to find services in your own language and everything is easier and more convenient than perhaps in other places in Thailand.

And boy are the hotels nice or WHAT?! Cape Sienna on Kamala Beach is where my mom and her friend Merja stayed, and despite of being one of the nicest hotels I've ever seen its not even close to being the finest of the hotels in Phuket.

Sunset from the hotel room

The Vanilla Sky Bar on the rooftop on Cape Siena is about the most luxurious place to watch the sunset with a cocktail in your hand. But does it beat sunsets on Koh Tao's beach loungers with your feet dipped in the ocean, or on a desert beach in the Philippines? Ah, it's a tricky one.... But I do know it beats "watching the sunset" through a thick dark rain cloud through an office window sat in front of my computer dreading the commute back home that will probably take an hour and a half due to snow, signal failure, or a person on the rails...

Plum Restaurant - our table!

Cape Sienna also had a pretty damn nice restaurant, Plum, where we all had dinner one night at sunset. It was one of those restaurants you wish you had the chance to experience even once in your lifetime, so spectacular that when you're there all you can do is repeat "OMG I can't believe how nice this is!" over and over again. What made it such an amazing experience was the table we had, which was sunk into the infinity pool surrounding the rooftop restaurant. We were essentially sitting right at the edge of the restaurant over the sea, in the pool , with the sun setting right behind us, drinking fabulous wine and eating gorgeous food. The dining experience was quite Mediterranean but some of the dishes had a Thai touch to them. It was all very chic and stunning, couldn't really go wrong.... The quirks of flashpacking ;)

But my flashpacking days are now behind me, as I have left my mom and her fancy hotel in Phuket and moved on towards new exciting experiences. It is a strange feeling, not having anything at all planned for the remainder of my trip other than a few vague ideas of what I'd perhaps like to do. It's liberating yet scary; I feel free but not quite sure what to do next or where to go. But I don't feel alone - I am really enjoying the thought of being able to enjoy some alone time for a while.