Phuket, Phuket's ladyboys, Phuket's day trips, Phuket's beaches, and other Phuket charms

Getting to Phuket
I was sad to leave the beautiful Koh Tao but excited to go to Phuket as it meant meeting up with my mom who I hadn't seen in over six months! And you never know, perhaps I'd be back in that neck of the woods sooner rather than later as I had been looking into going to Koh Phangan for a week or two after Phuket. The beauty of backpacking with no concrete plan is that you can do whatever takes your fancy; after my mom's visit I'd be free to do whateeeeever I feel like, although staying in Thailand would mean doing a visa run to probably Myanmar as my 30 day visa free stay would be up at the end of February.

Getting to Phuket involved nothing less than one taxi, two ferries, two buses, and a minivan. In total we ended up travelling for 13 hours; and having had no proper food all day (just gross potato crisps and other junk food), arriving at our hotel in Patong Beach felt like heaven. Fresh delicious dinner, long hot shower, and bed will never feel as good as it does after a day like that.

Cocktail time

Seeing my mom after such a long time was just amazing. I had never before been on holiday with her so I knew we were going to have big time fun together. I immediately hit it off with her friend Merja as well, and there was no doubt in my mind the next two weeks were going to be filled with laughter and good times. Despite the language barrier Pete fitted into the group of giggling Finnish women pretty well I thought!


Simon Cabaret

Simon Cabaret is a 'must see' when in Phuket. Men, women, and ladyboys performing entertaining dances in outrageous outfits lip syncing to songs in different languages. It is advertised everywhere and recommended to us by people who had seen it so we thought we'd give it a go. Plus its one of the top activities in Phuket on Tripadvisor so it's gotta be good right?

Is it a boy? Is it a girl?

After having been to some of the top London shows, I'm afraid to me Simon Cabaret was a bit of a disappointment. The costumes were impressive I suppose but other than that there wasn't much about the show that was fantastic. I'm glad I went though, I did think it was a fun experience overall. The thing that kept me most entertained was trying to guess which of the dancers were ladyboys and which were women, which isn't always easy!

The lip syncing wasn't great, most of the time the dancers clearly didn't even know the words to the songs. As for the dancing, some of it was pretty amazing I thought - especially the performances of the lead dancers, although most of the time it seemed to me that the showgirls (and boys) were rather unenthusiastically going through the motions with no passion in their performance, and looking like they'd rather be anywhere else but on that stage. Like remembering the movements as if reading them from a piece of paper and following through: "one step left, one step right, left arm up, and shake it all about... now smile." I think it would have helped if the dancers had managed to be in sync, at least during one of the dances...

The costumes were impressive, although there was some room for improvement when it came to...well, all the rest

Best unplanned day trip
I have really taken a liking to day trips in Southeast Asia which I have generally found to be really interesting and usually very good value for money. The trip to the Golden Triangle in northern Thailand is the first day trip I did and think because it was so good I got hooked from the getgo! Even though there are day trips that can be same same they will also always be different; no island hopping day is going to be the same no matter how many you've done! But when it came to choosing a day trip to do in Phuket Pete and I were a little hesitant as to the appeal of the ones that were available. They all seemed extremely crowded and touristy (like Phuket itself is) so we decided to do some exploring on our own instead.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Me feeding Nicole Kidman

We ended up having the most amazing day! On our own, no guides, no timetable to keep, no other annoying tourists. Just us and a rented motorbike - no map, no plan. We drove down to Karon Beach for lunch, then further to Kata Beach for some shopping which I remembered from last time was very good. A new dress and two new bikinis later we headed off to the Big Buddha viewpoint, and it was on our way up the hill that we spotted a baby elephant and I got to do something I had never done before, touch and feed an elephant! Her name was Nicole Kidman and she was two years old; weighed 500 kg and ate 100kg of bananas a day. She was adorable and I immediately began planning a way to bring her home with me.

Abort! Abort!

They also had a snake, an animal which scares the crap out of me. I had never touched one before, and after the girls convinced me it was a perfectly friendly snake I agreed to hold it - I could do this, it's not like it was a balloon.

I knew I'd have to deal with my irrational fear of balloons at some point in my life, but I decided to start with the snake.

Unfortunately however, I failed. I never really did manage to hold the snake properly, as when I was lifting it closer to me it looked straight at me and I could see in its eyes it was planning to attack my neck, strangle me to death and eat me whole so I freaked out and put it away. I'll probably have nightmares about this human devouring beast for years to come. Shiver.

At this point it was all still going well

Rather terrified lifting the snake up

Phuket's Patong and Kamla beaches
I'd be lying if I said I didn't find Patong's craziness fascinating. Loud music, bright lights, masses of tourists; imagine a cheap and disorganised version of Las Vegas transferred to the beaches of Thailand. But after almost a week of ladyboys, ping pong show offers, and being harassed by street vendors I was quite happy to move to Kamala beach. Pete had continued his onward journey to Singapore so I moved in with my mom and her friend Merja to continue with my flashpacking lifestyle I had grown accustomed to. Kamala Beach reminds me of the Thailand islands of Koh Samui and Koh Tao more than of the rest of Phuket, but instead of young backpackers you have the older holiday-makers and their children you are surrounded by. If you want to experience the quieter and calmer side of Phuket, Kamala is your place.

The wonders of 7-Eleven
There are 7-Eleven shops on every corner in Thailand. Other than providing an air-conditioned heaven when you need a break from the heat, every single time I enter one of these shops I get caught up by the fascinating world of exotic products stacked on the shelves.

One of these products was Siamsato which my mom spotted next to the Singha beer in the fridge. With its 8% alcohol content and 20 baht (£0.50) price tag for a one litre bottle she decided it deserved to be tried. As it turns out, Sato is a traditional northeastern Thailand drink that has been made for centuries from rice and is commonly called Thai rice wine.

Very rarely do I waste a perfectly good alcoholic drink by spitting it out (probably explains my behaviour at most wine tastings I go to), but on this occasion the wine found its way into the sink very quickly and the rest of the contents of the bottle soon followed down the drain. None of us enjoyed the extremely sugary rice drink; traditional or not.

Jasmine Rice balls, crisps, green pea snacks,
and Thai Custard Bun

Other products that had caught my eye and raised my curiosity were different shaped buns filled with fluorescent green, purple, or yellow pastes. Every time I went into one of the 7-Elevens I had to stop to admire them, and wonder what they'd taste like.

One day when Pete and I were heading back to our hotel we stopped to buy water in one of the 7-Elevens, and in my usual manner I was immediately drawn to the snack section to see what bizarre goodies this particular shop had to offer. After seeing the selection of nibbles on display I couldn't take it anymore, and decided it was time to satisfy my curiosity! And we went beyond the buns, and grabbed some garlic flavoured fried rice balls, as well as a bag of green pea snacks, whatever that was!

Green paste bun

Imagine my disappointment when the green paste filled bun didn't actually taste of anything special. There was no projectile vomiting, no scandalous reactions, not even a comment of disgust. It was actually OK. I mean, it was a bun made of white flour mixed with water, with a sugary custardy paste in the middle. Throw in some E- numbers and you've got yourself a green sugary custardy paste.

Moving on.

The garlic rice balls were yum! But of course, they contained the magical ingredient, garlic. I'll be buying these again for sure. 5 out of 5 stars.

And finally my verdict on the green pea snack: well, they were green and tasted of pea (some good E number work again) and had the texture of potato crisps. Edible I suppose but weird taste-to-texture mix. I like my peas fresh, in a cup, right next to my fish and chips!

That's it for now, more Phuket adventures to follow!

Mom and Merja in a Tuk Tuk in Patong

The flashpacking continues....